kuh-RAY-zee

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've done some pretty crazy stuff in my life, but I've got to call this one out for shizzie!

Last Thursday, Nov. 6th, was the grand opening for Chick-fil-a in McCalla, AL. I live just a few miles from there, so I am just excited to have a Chick-fil-a nearby! Well, anytime a new Chick-fil-a opens, they offer 52 free meals (1 per week for a year) for the first 100 people in line at 6am on the morning of the opening. Since Chick-fil-a is about my fave fast food, and I live close, I decided to get up before the roosters and be out there about 4:30am. The whole way there I was thinking that whoever gets there after me would totally think I was crazy for being there so early in the morning. It only took me about 5 minutes to get there from my house, and when I pulled into the shopping center where it's located, this is what I saw:

Yep--Not kidding, people! There were about 100 tents out there--in the Chick-fil-a parking lot. I thought I was crazy for getting there at 4:30, but these people totally had me beat. I mean, I'm all for some free stuff, but it was 35 degrees that night--some things just aren't worth it! A couple of things to note:

1. One of the tents was a Dora the Explorer tent. Now, this is funny because children cannot be in the first 100 people to get the free meals. That means that some adult took their child's tent for a night out in a restaurant parking lot. Sad, but true!

2. There were a couple of cars that look as though they may have gotten there just before I did, and the tent people looked pissed about this. How dare someone get in line before them at 4:30am when they had been there all night.

3. I didn't stay--I decided that braving the tent people was not worth the $7 per week I would save...Or, I'll bring my lunch.

This comes really close to the top of my"You have to be kidding me" list. I'm just glad I had the camera to capture such kuh-RAY-zee-ness!

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What a graceful fall

My sister had to do a physical assessment on Greg for one of her classes. I had to video tape her doing a 30-minute assessment on all of his face, legs, arms, etc. We used a room at Children's South, where Sissy works, so that she would have everything she needed. There were segments to this tape. Anytime Sissy looked at me directly, I was to turn off the video camera so that she could reposition and collect her thoughts.

In order for me to get the entire view of everything she was doing, I had to stand in a far corner of the room in a chair (for a bird's eye view). After the 3rd of 4th segment, I turned the video camera off. To relax for a second in between takes, I leaned my shoulder blades back against the corner....and there went the chair...clean out from under me. I kept grabbing for the walls while holding on to that video camera for dear life. Once I got as far down as I could go, my knees collapsed and I flipped over the back of the chair and onto the hard concrete floor. I fell straight onto the right side of my back and hip. Completely couldn't breathe. Greg and Sis both ran to me. All I could do was open my mouth and signal that I couldn't get a breathe. That's an awful feeling. My nurse sister ran down the hall to get a nurse...that's just to add to the funny! All in all, I was fine. It had just knocked the breath out of me, so when a few minutes passed, I was able to breathe fine.

The worse thing about it was that after that, we had to keep turning the video camera off because one of us would crack up laughing. I only wish I would have had the video camera on so that we would have this wreck from my point of view--because I knew that their views had to be great!

I must note that they were both very worried at first, but once they knew I was fine, laughter was well-warranted! Anytime you are feeling a little down or having a bad day, please just picture a 200 pound girl flipping backwards over the back of a chair IN A HOSPITAL! I do, and it's funny as hell!

The only thing I took away from it was a sore next-morning and a nice black bruise on my backside!

Laughter is the best medicine!

Another Rockstar in my life

Yep, you heard it! I've already exclaimed my Mom's Rockstar-ness!

Well, now I'm screaming my sister's Rockstar mojo from the rooftops. That's right! I mean, I've always known that I am really blessed when it comes to my parents and siblings. My family is one of those "do-anything-for-you-no-matter-what" families.

Let me set the scene for you: Thursday night, me, Greg and Ginger went to Children's South to film Ginger's Physical Assessment for one of her nursing classes. It took a little longer than expected, but we got it finished--not without a few bloopers (see next blog for details). Once we finally got that all finished up, we all headed to Greg's now-former apartment to get the last things out of it so he could turn in his key. It was quite a few trips up and down 3 flights of stairs, but we got that all taken care of as well--both mine and sissy's car were pretty loaded. We all got home about midnight, and sis had to stay up late to get Greg's work laundry done. I'm guessing she was in bed around 2ish.

Friday morning, I got up, thought it would be a good day because I got my long lost "friend", and went to work. About 10am, I got to feeling really crappy, and the tylenol wasn't working, so I decided to run home real quick and get some good pain meds and come right back to work. Well, I was halfway home when the awful feelings started! If you are a man, you would never know these feelings, and, if you're a woman, I hope you never know them! I had pain that began in my lower abdomen, near my ovaries, and radiated all over my body. The pain was causing cold sweats all over and then the light-headedness set it. At that point, my vision started closing in and it was all I could do to stay conscious. JC called, and we talked for a minute but then I had to concentrate on trying to see. I felt nauseous, and I really wanted to get home. 2 miles later, and I had to pull over on the side of the road. I couldn't see. I was lucky enough to get a call off to Sis before the vision completely left. There I was miserable, and on the side of the road. Sis called Jon and he left work to hunt for me.

A few minutes went by and I thought I could make it home, or at least a little closer to Jon. I set out. Called sis back. Talked to her all the way home. Once I got home, I took 2 percocets and laid on the couch. I told her she could decide what to do because I didn't think I was capable of making any kind of decisions. ER it was. And, I couldn't argue--I was in a lot of pain, and the vision loss had totally spooked me! She demanded coming to get me and taking me to the ER. But, she had Kenlie, her assessment video was due and Jon was busy at work. After resting for about 30 minutes, I felt like I could at least drive myself to the ER and meet her--that was ok by her. We got there about the same time 11:30ish.

Daddy left work and came to the hospital to get K so that Sis could stay with me--she was spending the night with Mimi and Pop anyway, so it just worked out quite well for her! I think we got back to triage around 1:30 and finally got a room about 2ish. The nurses and doctors at Brookwood were AWESEOME! I had to have some test run and then they did an ultrasound. All in all, we left there about 6:30. My sister never left my side. She even shared her turkey sandwich and peanut butter crackers! What a trooper!

That's a rockstar--when it matters so much!

Escapade a la Jim N Nicks

So, JC and I decided to grab a late dinner at Jim N Nicks in Southside after I had a short study session across the street at Starbucks. I had drank about 2 bottles of water in the past hour or 2, so I was at first in need of a bathroom. Right after the chick showed us to our table, I jumped up and off to the bathroom I went. I ran in the bathroom--no one was in there, thank goodness, because I could not have waited another second. Ahhhh...that relief of going to the bathroom after you've been holding it so long! Flush...open door...what's that thing? Oh--urinal. Wait--why would there be a urinal in the....OHHHH SHIT! I'm in the men's bathroom. Screw washing my hands--out, now!

Ok, so it's not like I've never been in a men's bathroom before. But, really...the times I have been in a men's bathroom are pretty much limited to times that I have been wasted at a bar or concert and refused to wait in line at the women's restroom. Anybody can agree with that fact! This caught me completely off-guard though--so I just busted out of there before running into anyone! The whole way back to the table, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably! JC enjoyed the laugh as well. You just can't keep something that funny to yourself!

We got our food. Well, our apps. I ordered some onion rings--my standard for JnN. I totally love putting their BBQ sauce on the onion rings--it's my fave! Well, I was squeezing the BBQ sauce out, and it got stopped up...with an onion. And, as I squeezed the onion was coming out, but it looked disgusting. I turned the bottle so that JC could get it out...and see what I thought was so gross. And, what do you know...that onion popped right out and a line of BBQ sauce followed it...onto JC. Ok. Thank goodness he has some decent reflexes. It got his hand (and arm) and most of the booth, but the people behind him were saved. It's a good thing too--I think that chick would have screamed like someone had thrown up on her! hahaha! This started a theme throughout our dinner of seeing how hard you could squeeze the BBQ sauce bottle and how fast that stuff would come out--very funny! Hey--it's fun acting like a 5 year old--shut up!

Ok, so gay Jay (our over-zealous server) brought us our check, we paid the bill, and out we go. As we walk out, I noticed that they had a sign on the door that read: "We're closed. See ya'll tomorrow." Does anyone else notice something wrong with this?? Maybe not, but let me enlighten you! "Ya'll" is not spelled ya'll. It is a contraction of the two words you all. Therefore it is spelled y'all. This is simple 3rd gradish grammar. Well, I pointed that out to JC, not realizing that the hostess was leaving behind us. Do you know what she had the nerve to say to me. Uh huh. She said, "That's how you spell y'all". Wrong, bitch! You better recognize. So, I got into detail. Y'all is a contraction of you all, therefore is has an apostrophe between the y and the a. "Oh, you are right." Well, I know that. I'm sorry that you just tried to prove your intelligence and failed miserably. Now, you just look like a damn fool! It's one thing to argue with a complete stranger about something you're sure of. It's just downright stupid to argue with a complete stranger when they are right and have the common sense to prove it. Oh, and don't you worry. I also threw in that I was born and raised in Alabama and I know damn well how to spell y'all.

Sleep on that!

Bitch with the Pebbles Ponytail

Of course, another aerobics class personality.

This is a new person. As in, I've never seen her in this particular class before. That's not saying that she hasn't taken this or one similar, but I haven't ever seen her in this class when I've been there. She prisses (not walks, get the terms right) into class much like someone with a Gucci bag, Manolos and D&G sunglasses would go into the spa on a random Thursday morning (morning here meaning 10ish). Ok, so she thinks she's Mrs. Thang--wtf ever! Get over yourself, but you're not bothering me--and, your nose has more of a ski slope than mine. Next time, try the plastic surgeon instead of the spa!

I go in, get my step set up, fill my water bottle up at the water fountain, and still no sign of Terri (our oh-so-fab instructor). One of the regular guys walks in and says that he couldn't get a straight answer of whether she was coming or if there was a sub for the class, but he was going to go check with someone else.

I guess Pebbles just got tired of waiting on him because she huffs a big sigh, walks past another regular in the class and says, "Did anyone even go ask if she was here?" Regular girl replies that regular boy was going to find out. Pebbles then says, "And?" Regular girl very nicely replies that he hasn't returned with the answer yet (hence the reason we are still there and there is no sub yet--duh, bitch).

Pebbles storms out to go find out for herself I guess. Regular guy comes back with the answer--No class, Terri is sick and they couldn't get a sub. As everyone is getting their equipment up and going back to the equipment room, Pebbles storms back into the room and all but runs to her equipment and into the equipment room. I know we missed class, but geez, lady--it's kind of hard for her to teach a cardio step class with bronchitis. Go run around the track and quit your bitchin!

Oh...sidenote: She became Pebbles Ponytail in my book because she has one of those cute short haircuts (much like my sister's), but (unlike my sister) she needs some help with the ponytail style. She had the top half of her hair pulled up on top of her head and that shit was sticking straight up--Just like Pebbles Flinstone. I mean, you can't pull that hairstyle off--Your Manolos have just been revoked!

Peace Out!

You think you had a bad day? HA!

So, my Thursday was the worst! Let me clarify that it was probably not the worst day of my life, but it was the worst day that I have had lately.

Now, Tuesday and Thursdays I have class from 8 to 9:15. That means that I have to leave my house by 7:15 at the latest just to get to campus, find a parking spot and get to class.

1. To start my Thursday, I was later than normal. I woke up late and didn't get out of the house until 7:20.

2. I got to the end of Parkwood Road and was the second person in line to turn left onto Hwy 150. Just then, the car in front of me decides to throw it in reverse and slam into me. Yep... Candy and I were pissed. I unbuckled my seat belt, put the car in park and was just about to get out of the car when...

3. The car drove away. When I could finally pull out onto 150, I did. I called the police and talked to the operator the entire way down 150. Finally I caught up with the car and got the tag number. Just a few moments later a couple of motorcycle cops wizzed by me and pulled the car over. This was the first chance I had to get out and look at my Candy. She was FINE! There were no scratches, dents, or even paint transfer. The policeman came over, asked me what happened, and looked at my car. He told me that there didn't appear to be any stress marks. I asked him what the deal was. He said the lady in the car that hit me was about 90 years old and didn't know that she hit me. Well, maybe not, but she doesn't need to be driving! I went on about my business and didn't file a police report, but I hope they get people like that off the road.

4. I got the class about 8:20...that's a miracle in itself. Oh, and there was a parking spot where I normally park, too--God was watching out for me. My prof counted me present even though I was late and I think they only did a little review before I got there--No new material. Whew...at least something went right.

5. Once I finally got to work, I was told that "Engineers are worth more than chemists" when asking why I was paid less than a straight-out-of-school guy with no experience. Grreat--I'm quitting. I just have to get a new job first. If anyone knows of anything, give me a shout. I'm almost open to anything that will pay me and allow me to continue with school.

6. After work, I decided that I was definitely going to the gym...this day had to at least end well! I went to Brandon's to get changed for the gym and when I was changing socks, I stepped on a freakin thumb tack. It went all the way in my foot--eww! Brandon got that out and I went on to aerobics anyway.

7. After the step aerobics part of gym class, I got up from doing weights, and got all light-headed and started with the anxiety. Ugh...once again, though, B took care of me. Gave me some good meds and let me lay down for awhile. When I finally got home and went to bed, I couldn't have been more happy that the day was OVER!

Beat that!

Roughing it at the Hilton, Chattanooga

This is somewhat of a follow-up to my last post, where I explained my far out camping experience. Well, Day 2 of that camping trip didn't exactly go as planned--it was better! After realizing Saturday morning that Noccalula Falls was nothing spectacular and Gadsden is about as much fun as a dentist visit, we decided to head an hour north to Chattanooga.

Apparently, back in the day, you could camp on Lookout Mountain. Well, that is no more. We ventured up to the top, walked through the National Park (it was a gorgeous day with a spectacular view). Then, we decided to trek a little down the mountain and see what the hype was about Rock City--pretty cool place, if you ask me! At the conclusion of all that fun, it was about 4pm. Now, let's remember that I haven't had a shower since the morning before, so we are both getting....ripe!

Brandon decides that he really wants to just go find a cool bar (or few) and hang out for awhile. It's his birthday so I go along (besides, Bama is playing GA, so I'm all for that). As we are looking for some kind of evidence of coolness, he decided that it would be cool just to find a nice area with bars, restaurants, hotels, etc and get a hotel room so we can just walk anywhere we want.

Finally, we find downtown Chattanooga, which is just about as nice a downtown area as you'll find! There was the aquarium, the Chattanooga Choo Choo, breweries, restaurants, pubs, and hotels. The cheapest hotel we could find was the Hilton Garden Inn. So, we checked into there for the grand total of $129. I took a much-needed shower that was excellent and sat down on the bed to relax and watch the Auburn game.

When we get ready, we head out to find the coolest bar on the face of the planet (I'm convinced of this). It is called "Hair of the Dog". Yes, I got a tshirt and he got a hat--we must remember this place. The beer cheese soup was out of this world! We spent a long while there--watch Alabama stomp on Georgia good! Wahoo!

Then, it was back to the hotel and to a nice slumber...until 5am. Mm Hmm...at 5am Sunday morning, we awake to an obnoxious siren/beeping noise. It is the forking fire alarm. You have to be kidding me!! Ok, so we scramble for some decent clothes (in the dark), grab my purse and his wallet and we are out the door...barefoot! As we get outside, the rest of the guests are coming as well, some carrying oh-so-tired children. I stake out my spot on the curb and lay my head on Brandon's shoulder for a minute. About 10 minutes go by before I look up and ask "Where the fuck is the firetruck?" Another 20 or so minutes go by and one pissed off guest finally calls the fire dept. They haven't had a call that the hotel fire alarm has gone off---UGH! Stupid girl at the front desk! The get there moments later and clear the building in about 10-15 minutes so we can all go back inside to sleep. At this time, though, we had been outside for a good 50 minutes, so most people are irate. We go to sleep anyway--it's going to be daylight soon and I'll be damned if they charge us for late checkout!

The next morning, Brandon opens the door to find a bill for our full amount (of course), so he decides to go talk to the people at the desk to see what exactly they are going to do to compensate us for the incovenience of curb time. The nice fellow at the customer service desk offers to knock our room charge down to $99 and give us 2 free breakfasts. Sounds reasonable to me, too! About that time, Mr. Noshirt (as we began calling him the night before), walked up to the counter, plopped his bill down and said, "So, I've already worked this out with the girl working last night, and my room is free." Sure enough, upon opening the bill, she had crossed it out and signed it to be a no charge. The nice fellow helping Brandon had no choice at this point. He asked him if he wanted a free room too...which of course he answered yes to!

So, we got a free night's stay at the Hilton and 2 free wonderful breakfasts!! We must have done something right--Karma was on our side that day!

My name is not Earl.

And, where do I brush my teeth?

Ok, so my Love (Brandon, aka B) had a birthday this past Monday. I was at a complete loss of what to get him for a great present. I knew that he is all about hiking and camping (and I'm soooo not!), so I figured it would be a great present (and a super nice gesture) to surprise him with a weekend trip camping! With a lot of help from quite a few people (big shout out to Greg), I got everything I needed, and decided that Noccolula Falls in Gadsden would be a good destination. It isn't that far away but looked cute and full of activities.

Leading up to this event, I'm all excited because I'm totally going to surprise him and he is probably going to shit his pants. Friday night, as I'm driving to his house, trunk loaded down with camping gear I know nothing about, it hit me that I'm completely clueless. Yes, I'm excited about the adventure, but I'm terrified of no bathroom, cooking my food on a fire, not sleeping in a bed, blah, blah, blah. As I'm driving, it hits me...I'm so Troop Beverly Hills in this relationship!

You have to remember that movie! Don't even lie--you loved it too. Yes, I was the one saying, "I can make crafts." Just a side note: I packed 4 pairs of shoes for 2 nights away from home, camping. I thought I did good!

So, here I am, completely prepared for something I know nothing about, and getting more scared of the reality of sleeping outside, by the minute. Mm hmm...the entire movie is running through my head. Then, I quickly shift to the movie Parent Trap. The honey attracted the big grizzly bear to tear up that tent. Oh shit! Note to self: throw honey away at gas station when stopping. Is there anything else I should know? I got a whole case of water (and a whole case of beer for sanity), a loaf of bread, poptarts, chips, peanut butter, the works!

Deep breaths! Whew...I'm going to be ok!

So, a couple of hours later, we get there, get the tent set up, air up the mattress (you didn't really think I was sleeping on the ground, did you?), and set up our chairs for a few beers. Ahhh...the sound of the outside is so great. I'm tired...let's go to bed. Umm. Scuse me...I have to pee. Ugh...that's a 2 minute walk to the other side of the park. Better not hold it too long. Beer is a bad thing because you have to pee too much!

Well, I made it through the night, slept pretty good even...the next night, we roughed it at the Hilton in Chattanooga. That's another story entirely that I will post soon enough!

I came, I conquered!

BOSU Class

No, I didn't spell that wrong. It really is BOSU. Stands for something crazy, like Both Sides Up, or something. Anyway, for those of you who are completely in dark (as I was), let me enlighten you!

The "BOSU Ball" as they call it, is not really a ball. Picture, if you will, one of those large exercise balls. Now, cut that ball in half. On one side, there is a piece of black plastic about 2 inches thick. Oh hell, google has a picture...

Ok, yeah...this is it. Do you know what people do on this

thing?? Have you ever been to a step aerobics class and used a step bench?? Well, you are supposed to use this thing for some of the same exercises. Like, I don't know...basic steps on and off of the ball. It doesn't look that hard, but take it from me...WOAH! There is a reason they say it works your core muscles and improves balance. But, let me tell you--if you don't already have some kind of good balance, you are just SOL because yo ass be on da ground!

Uh huh...should have a warning--BEWARE: FAT KIDS HIT GROUND HARD! Ha.

It was a great workout. Don't get me wrong, but it's a little difficult to balance your body and a couple of free weights on top of this thing while doing bicep curls. Oh, and let's not forget that I wore by cute bell-bottom yoga pants to this class and I kept stepping on the pants leg. Not good when you're trying to balance, folks! The worst part--I got mad cramps in the arches of my feet. OWWW! Yeah, that's NOT comfortable!

Anyway, I'll be back next week because it was fun, different, and the chick that teaches it was really nice and super helpful!

Best part: No bra girl goes to the other class on Wednesdays! BOSU!

Just Imagine...

My sense of smell

Most people that know me very well, know that I have a sense of smell that qualify as a super power. Yes, you heard me right. I can smell anything...from a long distance, too. This keen sense can be an attribute, or a detriment. Here are some of the things I have smelled in the past little while that have really encouraged me to post this blog.

1. Toe Jam--This is one of the most unfortunate things about smelling so well. Most people have probably, at one time or another, had the same bad experience of smelling such an "ugh". The problem here is that I smell toe jam at the most akward of times. Sitting in a meeting with a bunch of co-workers (toe jammer in flip flops). Once I get the slightest hint of this debilitating smell, nauseousness comes over me and I can't seem to shake it.

2. Food (of any type)--When I have to be frugal (or on a diet) and take a sandwich to work for lunch, it's absolutely unnecessary for everyone else in the office to have some kind of yummy pasta/red sauce compilation. Even if I smell one of those cheap, heat-in-microwave, fake pepperoni lunch pizzas...I'm swooning for that nasty crap! I'm fat people--stop making me crave the things that are the worst for me!

3. Urine--I don't have to say much here...this is disgusting!

4. Sour--Alright, let me explain this one so that you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you leave your clothes sitting, wet, in the washer for more than a day...your clothes take on this wonderfully disgusting stench. That's the sour I'm talking about! The maintenance guy at work must leave his clothes in the washing machine wet for days and days. Please, for goodness sake, when you wash your clothes, go ahead and dry them! It's much appreciated by my nose!

5. Sweat--I know that sweating is part of life and working and exercising, but come on! Deoderant is part of personal hygiene! They sell it everywhere, it's cheap, and it saves noses like mine.

If you'll just think of people (and noses) like me, next time you eat, wash clothes, or get sweaty, we would much appreciate it!

Much Love!

Too bad I didn't see it first hand

Alright...for those of you who haven't been on this planet for the past 21 months, I will inform you that I am aunt to the most adorable little girl in the galaxy--Kenlie. Yes, she is 21 months old now, and she is definitely growing each day. Her little face is filling out with big-girl features and she's developed a sometimes-fiesty attitude. Me, Ginger (my sis and her mom) and Kenlie went shopping a couple weeks ago. When we would go in the dressing rooms to try on things, she would go in with us, of course. And, she would start putting clothes on too. The funniest was her putting shirts on her legs! After this, for the past couple weeks, I've really noticed her "trying on" different items of clothing. It's always a hoot to see how she puts things on her as opposed to how they are supposed to be worn. On Saturday, my sis sent me a text asking if I could check my email on the road so that she could send me a pic. I said I could and to go ahead and send it. She said that it was the funniest thing she has ever seen Kenlie do. At that statement, I was so anxious--I couldn't wait to see what she had gotten into! So, I get the picture...

Yes, this is MY niece! She has my sister's panties on her--she even took off her diaper! That's a smart girl--at least she knew the purpose of them. She just couldn't quite figure out how to get them on. Or, maybe she just wanted to wear all the pretty panties at one time!! Nevertheless, now you all know that my niece is very interested in dress-up. And, you also know exactly which drawer my sis keeps her drawers in.

"Well-behaved women rarely make history." -Marilyn Monroe

And then there were two

Now, I've been to aerobics classes at the rec center numerous times (because I love it. If you can go, you should!) And, I'm sure if you are reading this, you are aware that one of my classmates "forgets" an essential item of clothing: the BRA.

Well, this is just to inform you that I think she's a complete dumbass. Last night, she doubled up on her shirts, but still no bra. No, I'm not obsessive--this is one of those things that you CAN'T miss!

On top of her clothing forgetfulness, she also not the pick of the rhythm litter either. She's always off-beat. I think she just comes there so that the men will look at her always-perky nips. Just a note, chicka: Men that come to aerobics are gay. You'll need to be going to the weight room if you want anyone to notice those. But then again, there are rules in the cardio and weight rooms--I don't think you could get in without a bra. SORRY!

Peace!

In case you are wondering...

1. I was not the "fat kid" in the class at the rec center today. And, even better--there was a skinny bitch there who just sat down 15 minutes into class. No, I couldn't do everything the instructor did, but I never stopped or sat down. That's 1 point for the Fat Kid Team!

2. The lady (please reference blog dated 08/25/2008) still has not broken down and bought a bra! I was thinking today, as I was doing squats in class, that maybe she doesn't know that her nips are always saluting the crowd. Then, I looked up and realized that this classroom is mirrors on 3 sides. She's on the first row...damn near right beside the instructor. She has to know! She. Doesn't. Care. WTF??? One word, folks: Ew!

Have a dandy day!

Look down! See, bras were made for a reason...

Alrighty...tonight was my first "rec center night", as we will come to know them. Side Note: The TBC class was freakin awesome! Great workout. Big sweat. Ouch!

Ok, on to what this is really about...

I was waiting outside Studio 2, waiting on the class before us to finish, when you walked up. You had a crapload in your hands as you walked by me, and frankly, you weren't important to me, so I didn't may you much attention. UNTIL...you sat down on the bench, facing me. Hello, Nips, how are you today? I mean, really, lady...

I know bras aren't comfortable. As a matter of fact, that is the first thing I take off when I get home: my bra. And although I am in full agreement that there should be an alternative to the hated titty-holder, it does NOT mean that we should push for that by boycotting the BRA! In Seinfeld, they even made a BRO so that men could be as uncomfortable. But, I digress...bras were made for a reason. Many reasons, actually.

1. To hold them up.
2. In order to give the nipples and the shirt a little "go-between".
3. To feel sexy.
4. To match your undies.
5. To make them be perky and men love them.

In conclusion, please purchase one of these lovely pieces of clothing! I know that you may not understand, but we would all really appreciated it!

Peace!

My Dumbass Award (this week)

Thursday morning was the first day of my new class. It is Inorganic Chemistry, from 8-9:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm pretty excited about this class because a) I'm a dork, b) I'm better at this learning thing in the mornings, and c) parking at UAB shouldn't be as big of a problem at 8 as it was at 3.

So, I get up Thursday morning, leave home at 7:15 (15 minutes later than I wanted to), and hit the interstate for the drive downtown. I-459 is not bad at all. The ramp to I-65N is a little slow, but moving. And, I-65N itself, is not exactly hell, but really close. I am a little nervous about getting to this first class on time, so I'm weaving in and out of traffic to try to make it in as little amount of time as I can. I hit University Blvd. about 7:45, pretty impressed with myself. Well, that is the worst part. I never imagined that it would be so slow moving--completely stupid of me...of course it will be. Everybody starts work at 8 am and there are a lot of people that work down there...DUH!

About 5 minutes later, I make the 2 blocks to 14th street, and make a right. Holy Crap, all of the parallel spots on the street are already full. Wtf?? Oh, wait--there is one...ahha! It's the last one I see, right behind a black SUV. Then, I look up, and crap--there is a handicap sign (minimum fine: $500). Wait a second, the lines and curb aren't blue on this spot. They are blue on the spot where the black SUV is. And, that spot doesn't have a sign. The idiots at the parking office put the sign in the wrong spot..that has to be what happened! Ok, I'm only going to be here for a max of 1.25 hours. I'll feed the meter so I won't draw any attention. Now, getting out of your car on 14th is a little tricky. You have to constantly watch out of your side mirror for a spot to open the door and hop out. My backpack is in the backseat on my side, so I have to allow enough time to get out, open the door, get my backpack out and get to the curb without being sideswiped by another person late for their first day of class.

When I finally see a break, I jump out the car, wallet and cell phone in hand, open the back door, throw the items in the pocket of the backpack and get to the curb. Whew! And, I have about 6 or 7 minutes to get to class. And, I'm close, so no big deal. Yes! I made it. I get halfway down the block to my class building and realize that I left my freakin keys in the car. Now, I normally leave my keys in the car when I park at my house and stuff, so this isn't a surprise. But, I'm pretty sure I left them in the back seat when I was putting the wallet and phone in my backpack. Well, I could leave them. I mean, it's not like someone is going to go through my car looking for my keys, right? Ohhh, I have time...I'll go get them.

On my way back to the car, I catch one of my new grad student buddies headed my way. I asked him if he was going to the same class...yes! Good--someone else that I'll know. That's good. I'm always looking for study partners and help! Chat with him a minute. Then, tell him I'm running back to my car to get something and I'll see him class. I get to the car, open the passenger side door. THE RADIO IS PLAYING. OMG! I left my freakin keys in the ignition and the car is running. DUMBASS! I have a momentary panic that I could be so absent minded. Then, I'm relieved that I actually came back. And, finally, I laugh because that is just so freakin stupid, only I can do it and laugh!

Brandon said I won the Dumbass Award for that. DeAdria said that is my dumbass moment for life--I can't have anymore. I quickly inform her that this is just my story of the week...not my life. And, I amaze her with some of my other stupidities. Danielle doesn't understand how I can be so smart and so dumb all at the same time.

What can I say? It's part of my charm...

My Mom, The Rockstar

I've been trying to convince people for years that my mom is a rockstar. Finally, the least expected group of people totally agree with me.

My brother's 17th birthday was August 14th, also his first day of school. Luckily, that was a half day since it was the first day of the school year. Since he is on the football team, they had to come back to school for a scrimmage game that afternoon at 4. So, his birthday wasn't the best it could be by any stretch of the imagination. Two weeks before his birthday, my parents bought both of us computers as our birthday gifts. He knew this meant that he would not receive a gift on his birthday.

Once again, my mom came through like a champ. She had a full lunch catered for the entire football team and coaches after school got out at noon on his birthday. She made Happy Birthday signs that my step-dad hung out at the school around midnight the day before. My brother was so surprised...and pretty stoked that his parents are this freakin cool.

The icing on the cake is this: About 3 weeks ago, my brother and his girlfriend (of 5 months) decided to take a break and just be friends for awhile. The wench starting dating someone else in 5 days. Five. Days. So, my brother is a little heart-broken and a lot pissed off. Well, at this little birthday surprise party at school, Mom asked several of my brother's girl friends to come help. And, the wench knew about it. (Insert evil laugh here) She was left out. As in, not included. Given the shaft. Totally ignored. (More evil laughing)

When Mom was telling me about the events of the day, she couldn't help but cackle just a little. She said that she did get quite a bit of satisfaction...and that it was money well spent to see her excluded from something so "big" in school. I told her that she successfully passed on that little vengeful side to me. And her exact words, "Yes, well, I'm just a little more subtle that I used to be."

Man, I love that woman. She rocks my world.

The Dynamics of my Bunco group

Ok, yeah, I hear you. Bunco is an "old lady" game. I thought so too. But, not anymore! First of all, these women are freakin hilarious and have more balls than most 20 year old boys I know. And, second, they can act a fool and laugh about more than anyone else. Besides, it's not about the game. The game is the excuse. It's about the fun, wine, and crazy ass stories. So, here are the dynamics of my bunco group (which never cease to amaze me).

Jennifer: She is the "leader" of the group if you must pick one. She prints out the calendar for everyone to sign up for their hosting spot. She sends out the bulk emails and makes sure everyone is accounted for. She also is loudest, funniest, and usually the winner in the wine drinking contest. She's got two kids, one in college and one in high school. She's crazy about planning things. Event planner extraordinaire she is. She also is the winner of the coolest sex story ever: She and her husband went out and got drunk one night. The next morning, he told her that that was the best sex they had ever had. She has no recollection of this...apparently they had sex in the closet when they were undressing. It's a joke we bring up almost every time we see each other!

Jamie: She is such the motherly type. 2 kids, tennis player, just a petite pretty blonde. But, on our girls trip to New Orleans, she got the most trashed and was actually sick the second day we were there. She was the trooper who got the grain alcohol purple drink on Bourbon street...again! Rock on, Jamie!

Vicki: She is the crazy, adventurous one. You have to love this woman. She and her husband have a fabulous relationship and they are just so adventurous in the things they do together. She usually comes up with some great ideas for the girls trips and nights out!

Danielle: She is one of my best friends...enough said! She is is the youngest, except for me. The not-so-over-the-top one. Kinda takes it as it comes, but certainly has an opinion about everything...and is not afraid to share it.

Shari: This woman cracks me up. She is so sarcastic, only you would never know because she can keep a straight face and not let on to anything.

Karen: This tiny lady has 2 kids and is a mother before everything else. She's also the one who always has something to sell...but it's usually some good stuff!

Ruth: Reserved. Disciplined. But, funny as hell. And, she has 4 kids, so she has some good stories to share.

Wendy: Now, after first meeting this woman, you may consider her a bitch or just anti-social. She's the type who has that sarcastic eye-roll that speaks volumes. But, after getting to know her and getting into a convo with her...you will learn that she is dependable and has some killer wit about her!

So, that is my normal bunco crew...if you ever run into any of these people, just laugh--they all have an awesome sense of humor.

I'm not Martha effin Stewart

I know that I'm a rockin housekeeper. No, I don't clean house for a living, people. But, I do keep my own house presentably clean most of the time. My one slacking chore is the laundry. What can I say? I hate folding all that. I mean, I am a self-proclaimed dryer-dresser! Yes, I have gotten dressed for work in my laundry room straight out of the dryer. Not what you would expect from me, is it?

I let my laundry get about knee-high in the laundry room over the past couple of weeks. So, today I had to at least wash some underwear for the sole reason that I really don't want to go commando tomorrow. And, underwear gets washed with the towels, washclothes, and socks in my house. Now is a good time to insert one fact: I bought a new beach towel on sale at Wal-mart last week that needed to be washed before being put away. Naturally, the beach towel will be washed with the other towels that are being washed with the underwear.

I go through the normal routine...warm water, half a cupful of detergent, add the laundry so as to balance the weight in the machine. I would guess the cycle lasts about 30 minutes. As soon as I hear the machine finish, I go straight to put the load in the dryer. When I open the lid, I realize, suddenly, that the beach towel was bright blue, my towels used to be white, and I used warm water.

Now, I think it's time to redecorate my bathroom. I'm going to have to find a way to incorporate baby blue (with bright blue specs) into the decor. Yes, my formerly white towels are now a not-so-pretty shade of blue. To top it all off, the blue fuzzies that came off the beach towel are stuck on everything else. So, yes, I also have a new pair of baby blue socks, baby blue panties, and quite a few others that just have these bright blue fuzzies on them.

You think I could wash them with something bright red and turn them purple?

And, today it is done

So, I have been dating this wonderful man for 2 months now. He really is great...so caring, loving, and sensitive to my needs. But (of course there is a but), I just think it wasn't meant to be. Or, maybe it was simply bad timing. After feeling like it is going downhill for about a week now, I finally decided to talk to him today. The solution that came out of our chat was that we would "take a step back". His words, not mine. Friends are people that care and love for each other too, so why can't we be just that? No reason. That's what we are going to try. I leave him feeling like I have done the right thing, I have somehow managed to end things as nicely as possible, and maybe he doesn't think of me as a horrible wench.

I got in my car, and headed down the road. I needed some moral support, just some reassurance that I had down the correct thing. This is either my sister, or Kelley. Kelley answered. I was fine...until she asked me if I was fine. I then got this overwhelming guilty feeling. I just didn't know how to cure it. I broke out into tears because I had broken someone's heart. Having just gone through a similar situation about 5 months ago, I knew EXACTLY what he was feeling. And, this time, I had caused it. I feel absolutely horrible. I mean, really...that is not what I wanted to do. But, then again, did I want to sacrifice my feelings (or lack thereof) for the rest of my life in order to make him feel better?

This feeling I have is overwhelming. I never want to hurt anyone as much as I feel I have hurt this wonderful person. I just pray that he finds that perfect person for him. Because, he deserves nothing less. I really to believe that, with time, he will come to agree with my decision. And, I hope that I affected his life in a positive way, even though he may not be able to see that right now. I know that he has affected me in a very positive way. He is an extremely caring person, and it's so good to know that there are men in this world that are capable of such care and love for another person.

And, so, that is why today, it is done...done and over. I only hope that we can really become good friends...because I hate for such a wonderful person to leave my life once and for all.

And, then there were 3

I believe I've mentioned my love for shoes...a time or two?

I had to go shopping for my brother's birthday gift. He's really been wanting some new, cool clothes, so I thought I would see what I could find. I was thinking...jeans from American Eagle and a shirt from Belk. Or somewhere. Damn Belk for having a 50% off sale. Damn them! Because...immediately after spending all of 5 minutes sorting thru racks in the men's department (and deciding on NOTHING), I found the shoe department. Ahhh...it was like the clouds opened up to reveal angels singing in the heavens!

Yes, I looked thru every box in my size, and the size above and below me...just for good measure! You never know. Sometimes Jessica fits a little tight and Steve is a big large. The first pair I cradled in my arms were a practical low-heel Steve. Closed-toe, different patterns, very fall and winter. They would be great for work, and, with the additional discount, they were a mere $27. Yep, they're keepers!

Pair #2: My new lovers! No, I don't know what in the world I will wear these with. Yes, I will find an outfit and a reason to strut in them. At least once. The rest of the time, they will just shine from within my closet! Welcome My New Lovers...

Pair #3: Exotic Lust...mmmm! They are the same style as my new lovers, but the pattern and material they are made from is just luscious. Pink capris, white pants...Watch Out! You are just about to get upgraded to Exotic status with these fine things. Just slip one foot in, and you'll be hooked too!

So, yes, I'm hooked. And, my closet is getting more colorful by the charge card!

Ahhh...The Awesomeness of Whole Foods

Ok, so one thing I did leave out of my oh-so-boring intro, aka my first post...I have a LOVE for food. When I say love, that is exactly what I mean. I am always looking for a new restaurant with a different menu. Cultural restaurants are always fun to try, too. Especially if they're authentic--then you just never know what you're in for! Anyway, to the point of the story...

Last night, I didn't get off work until damn near dark. Everyone must eat, right? Well, I'm normally the Chick-fil-A type when I'm on the go, or when I just want to go home. Last night, I was thinking gelato...from Whole Foods. Specifically, sugar cookie flavored gelato. So begins my adventure. I get to the gelato counter, only to discover they are out of sugar cookie. Instead, the nice dude lets me try various flavors, and I settle on Chocolate Brownie (it's excellent--don't take my word for it...try it for yourself!). As I'm eating my Chocolate Brownie SENSATION, I'm wandering around the cafe, from carving station to pizza to sushi bar. Wow, I need a little more substance than gelato all of a sudden. I'm so hungry, though, I have no clue what to get...decisions!

After meandering through every known food variety, I decide that I'll just take a seat at the Brasserie and order something there. I've got the time. And, I've never eaten there before. The menu looks great, but they have this funny sandwich and side on special, and ultimately, this IS an adventure! So, I order the special. I must describe this succulent dish...

The sandwich is as such: 1 piece of rye bread, toasted, topped with a small handful of greens. Atop the green, the chef places rolls of Swedish Bacon (which has a consistency and appearance of ham) wrapped around oozing Robusto cheese (better than Gouda, people!). She finishes that off with a fried egg and another piece of toasted rye bread.

The side: German Potato Salad: I can't even tell you what is in this or how it's made, but it's freakin awesome, man! Definitely had some mustard flavor in there, and I noticed tiny pieces of bacon or ham throughout. It's served warm...Ohhh...and it melts in your mouth anyway!

And, here's the best part. The couple next to me had bought a bottle of wine to drink there. They got ready to go and hadn't finished it yet. But, since you can't leave with an opened bottle, they just sacrificed it to the cafe. The lovely server asked me if I wanted a free glass of wine. It was a might tart shiraz...pretty good for a not-so-expensive choice! It was free, so that makes is freakin stellar! Thanks to you two people next to me that got in a fight and didn't finished your wine! You two people were my heroes last night!

All I have to say is this: Nah Na Na Na Boo Boo...

This was just the special for yesterday. And, although, I'm sure you want it now, they don't offer it normally, and I'm just special! :)

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams!

Living the Dream

Hello World! This is my first blog, so I thought I would do the boring thing, just to break the ice! I'm recently 25. That's a young 25, dammit! I work as a Chemist in Birmingham. I'm lovin my job these days. I'm starting back to school in 2 weeks to get my Master's in Chemistry. I can see my hair being pulled out already! My awesome-est friend, KelHen, got me started with this blogging thing. We're one in the same. She's "my brotha from anotha motha". Yep, only she's a girl! And, my mom is cooler than hers too! But, on to the important things in life. I'm single, well, kind of. I'm single meaning "not married", but I am dating someone. I think he's a pretty ok guy too, but we'll see what happens. I'm always the non-committal type. But recently, not so much. I guess I like having people around. So, other than work, upcoming school, a boyfriend, and a friend as narcissistic as me, my plate is pretty full. I'm a pretty fun person. And, funny too! Yes, I make people laugh. Usually by making fun of another person. Hey--we have to stick to what we're good at, right? I love to shop. Shoes are my weakness. They are like Lay's: You can't buy just one (pair)! I am up for anything that involves drinking the totty, watching sports, traveling, the beach, eating, and just making jokes! I have quite a few bad habits, but we won't call them downfalls! Biting my fingernails, smoking on rare occassions, pitching fits when I don't get my way, oh there are more, I'm just at a loss. Being bossy is my biggest accomplishment! I can tell anyone what to do and how to do it. Just ask! Hahaha! There will be more later. For sure!