In case you are wondering...

1. I was not the "fat kid" in the class at the rec center today. And, even better--there was a skinny bitch there who just sat down 15 minutes into class. No, I couldn't do everything the instructor did, but I never stopped or sat down. That's 1 point for the Fat Kid Team!

2. The lady (please reference blog dated 08/25/2008) still has not broken down and bought a bra! I was thinking today, as I was doing squats in class, that maybe she doesn't know that her nips are always saluting the crowd. Then, I looked up and realized that this classroom is mirrors on 3 sides. She's on the first row...damn near right beside the instructor. She has to know! She. Doesn't. Care. WTF??? One word, folks: Ew!

Have a dandy day!

Look down! See, bras were made for a reason...

Alrighty...tonight was my first "rec center night", as we will come to know them. Side Note: The TBC class was freakin awesome! Great workout. Big sweat. Ouch!

Ok, on to what this is really about...

I was waiting outside Studio 2, waiting on the class before us to finish, when you walked up. You had a crapload in your hands as you walked by me, and frankly, you weren't important to me, so I didn't may you much attention. UNTIL...you sat down on the bench, facing me. Hello, Nips, how are you today? I mean, really, lady...

I know bras aren't comfortable. As a matter of fact, that is the first thing I take off when I get home: my bra. And although I am in full agreement that there should be an alternative to the hated titty-holder, it does NOT mean that we should push for that by boycotting the BRA! In Seinfeld, they even made a BRO so that men could be as uncomfortable. But, I digress...bras were made for a reason. Many reasons, actually.

1. To hold them up.
2. In order to give the nipples and the shirt a little "go-between".
3. To feel sexy.
4. To match your undies.
5. To make them be perky and men love them.

In conclusion, please purchase one of these lovely pieces of clothing! I know that you may not understand, but we would all really appreciated it!

Peace!

My Dumbass Award (this week)

Thursday morning was the first day of my new class. It is Inorganic Chemistry, from 8-9:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm pretty excited about this class because a) I'm a dork, b) I'm better at this learning thing in the mornings, and c) parking at UAB shouldn't be as big of a problem at 8 as it was at 3.

So, I get up Thursday morning, leave home at 7:15 (15 minutes later than I wanted to), and hit the interstate for the drive downtown. I-459 is not bad at all. The ramp to I-65N is a little slow, but moving. And, I-65N itself, is not exactly hell, but really close. I am a little nervous about getting to this first class on time, so I'm weaving in and out of traffic to try to make it in as little amount of time as I can. I hit University Blvd. about 7:45, pretty impressed with myself. Well, that is the worst part. I never imagined that it would be so slow moving--completely stupid of me...of course it will be. Everybody starts work at 8 am and there are a lot of people that work down there...DUH!

About 5 minutes later, I make the 2 blocks to 14th street, and make a right. Holy Crap, all of the parallel spots on the street are already full. Wtf?? Oh, wait--there is one...ahha! It's the last one I see, right behind a black SUV. Then, I look up, and crap--there is a handicap sign (minimum fine: $500). Wait a second, the lines and curb aren't blue on this spot. They are blue on the spot where the black SUV is. And, that spot doesn't have a sign. The idiots at the parking office put the sign in the wrong spot..that has to be what happened! Ok, I'm only going to be here for a max of 1.25 hours. I'll feed the meter so I won't draw any attention. Now, getting out of your car on 14th is a little tricky. You have to constantly watch out of your side mirror for a spot to open the door and hop out. My backpack is in the backseat on my side, so I have to allow enough time to get out, open the door, get my backpack out and get to the curb without being sideswiped by another person late for their first day of class.

When I finally see a break, I jump out the car, wallet and cell phone in hand, open the back door, throw the items in the pocket of the backpack and get to the curb. Whew! And, I have about 6 or 7 minutes to get to class. And, I'm close, so no big deal. Yes! I made it. I get halfway down the block to my class building and realize that I left my freakin keys in the car. Now, I normally leave my keys in the car when I park at my house and stuff, so this isn't a surprise. But, I'm pretty sure I left them in the back seat when I was putting the wallet and phone in my backpack. Well, I could leave them. I mean, it's not like someone is going to go through my car looking for my keys, right? Ohhh, I have time...I'll go get them.

On my way back to the car, I catch one of my new grad student buddies headed my way. I asked him if he was going to the same class...yes! Good--someone else that I'll know. That's good. I'm always looking for study partners and help! Chat with him a minute. Then, tell him I'm running back to my car to get something and I'll see him class. I get to the car, open the passenger side door. THE RADIO IS PLAYING. OMG! I left my freakin keys in the ignition and the car is running. DUMBASS! I have a momentary panic that I could be so absent minded. Then, I'm relieved that I actually came back. And, finally, I laugh because that is just so freakin stupid, only I can do it and laugh!

Brandon said I won the Dumbass Award for that. DeAdria said that is my dumbass moment for life--I can't have anymore. I quickly inform her that this is just my story of the week...not my life. And, I amaze her with some of my other stupidities. Danielle doesn't understand how I can be so smart and so dumb all at the same time.

What can I say? It's part of my charm...

My Mom, The Rockstar

I've been trying to convince people for years that my mom is a rockstar. Finally, the least expected group of people totally agree with me.

My brother's 17th birthday was August 14th, also his first day of school. Luckily, that was a half day since it was the first day of the school year. Since he is on the football team, they had to come back to school for a scrimmage game that afternoon at 4. So, his birthday wasn't the best it could be by any stretch of the imagination. Two weeks before his birthday, my parents bought both of us computers as our birthday gifts. He knew this meant that he would not receive a gift on his birthday.

Once again, my mom came through like a champ. She had a full lunch catered for the entire football team and coaches after school got out at noon on his birthday. She made Happy Birthday signs that my step-dad hung out at the school around midnight the day before. My brother was so surprised...and pretty stoked that his parents are this freakin cool.

The icing on the cake is this: About 3 weeks ago, my brother and his girlfriend (of 5 months) decided to take a break and just be friends for awhile. The wench starting dating someone else in 5 days. Five. Days. So, my brother is a little heart-broken and a lot pissed off. Well, at this little birthday surprise party at school, Mom asked several of my brother's girl friends to come help. And, the wench knew about it. (Insert evil laugh here) She was left out. As in, not included. Given the shaft. Totally ignored. (More evil laughing)

When Mom was telling me about the events of the day, she couldn't help but cackle just a little. She said that she did get quite a bit of satisfaction...and that it was money well spent to see her excluded from something so "big" in school. I told her that she successfully passed on that little vengeful side to me. And her exact words, "Yes, well, I'm just a little more subtle that I used to be."

Man, I love that woman. She rocks my world.

The Dynamics of my Bunco group

Ok, yeah, I hear you. Bunco is an "old lady" game. I thought so too. But, not anymore! First of all, these women are freakin hilarious and have more balls than most 20 year old boys I know. And, second, they can act a fool and laugh about more than anyone else. Besides, it's not about the game. The game is the excuse. It's about the fun, wine, and crazy ass stories. So, here are the dynamics of my bunco group (which never cease to amaze me).

Jennifer: She is the "leader" of the group if you must pick one. She prints out the calendar for everyone to sign up for their hosting spot. She sends out the bulk emails and makes sure everyone is accounted for. She also is loudest, funniest, and usually the winner in the wine drinking contest. She's got two kids, one in college and one in high school. She's crazy about planning things. Event planner extraordinaire she is. She also is the winner of the coolest sex story ever: She and her husband went out and got drunk one night. The next morning, he told her that that was the best sex they had ever had. She has no recollection of this...apparently they had sex in the closet when they were undressing. It's a joke we bring up almost every time we see each other!

Jamie: She is such the motherly type. 2 kids, tennis player, just a petite pretty blonde. But, on our girls trip to New Orleans, she got the most trashed and was actually sick the second day we were there. She was the trooper who got the grain alcohol purple drink on Bourbon street...again! Rock on, Jamie!

Vicki: She is the crazy, adventurous one. You have to love this woman. She and her husband have a fabulous relationship and they are just so adventurous in the things they do together. She usually comes up with some great ideas for the girls trips and nights out!

Danielle: She is one of my best friends...enough said! She is is the youngest, except for me. The not-so-over-the-top one. Kinda takes it as it comes, but certainly has an opinion about everything...and is not afraid to share it.

Shari: This woman cracks me up. She is so sarcastic, only you would never know because she can keep a straight face and not let on to anything.

Karen: This tiny lady has 2 kids and is a mother before everything else. She's also the one who always has something to sell...but it's usually some good stuff!

Ruth: Reserved. Disciplined. But, funny as hell. And, she has 4 kids, so she has some good stories to share.

Wendy: Now, after first meeting this woman, you may consider her a bitch or just anti-social. She's the type who has that sarcastic eye-roll that speaks volumes. But, after getting to know her and getting into a convo with her...you will learn that she is dependable and has some killer wit about her!

So, that is my normal bunco crew...if you ever run into any of these people, just laugh--they all have an awesome sense of humor.

I'm not Martha effin Stewart

I know that I'm a rockin housekeeper. No, I don't clean house for a living, people. But, I do keep my own house presentably clean most of the time. My one slacking chore is the laundry. What can I say? I hate folding all that. I mean, I am a self-proclaimed dryer-dresser! Yes, I have gotten dressed for work in my laundry room straight out of the dryer. Not what you would expect from me, is it?

I let my laundry get about knee-high in the laundry room over the past couple of weeks. So, today I had to at least wash some underwear for the sole reason that I really don't want to go commando tomorrow. And, underwear gets washed with the towels, washclothes, and socks in my house. Now is a good time to insert one fact: I bought a new beach towel on sale at Wal-mart last week that needed to be washed before being put away. Naturally, the beach towel will be washed with the other towels that are being washed with the underwear.

I go through the normal routine...warm water, half a cupful of detergent, add the laundry so as to balance the weight in the machine. I would guess the cycle lasts about 30 minutes. As soon as I hear the machine finish, I go straight to put the load in the dryer. When I open the lid, I realize, suddenly, that the beach towel was bright blue, my towels used to be white, and I used warm water.

Now, I think it's time to redecorate my bathroom. I'm going to have to find a way to incorporate baby blue (with bright blue specs) into the decor. Yes, my formerly white towels are now a not-so-pretty shade of blue. To top it all off, the blue fuzzies that came off the beach towel are stuck on everything else. So, yes, I also have a new pair of baby blue socks, baby blue panties, and quite a few others that just have these bright blue fuzzies on them.

You think I could wash them with something bright red and turn them purple?

And, today it is done

So, I have been dating this wonderful man for 2 months now. He really is great...so caring, loving, and sensitive to my needs. But (of course there is a but), I just think it wasn't meant to be. Or, maybe it was simply bad timing. After feeling like it is going downhill for about a week now, I finally decided to talk to him today. The solution that came out of our chat was that we would "take a step back". His words, not mine. Friends are people that care and love for each other too, so why can't we be just that? No reason. That's what we are going to try. I leave him feeling like I have done the right thing, I have somehow managed to end things as nicely as possible, and maybe he doesn't think of me as a horrible wench.

I got in my car, and headed down the road. I needed some moral support, just some reassurance that I had down the correct thing. This is either my sister, or Kelley. Kelley answered. I was fine...until she asked me if I was fine. I then got this overwhelming guilty feeling. I just didn't know how to cure it. I broke out into tears because I had broken someone's heart. Having just gone through a similar situation about 5 months ago, I knew EXACTLY what he was feeling. And, this time, I had caused it. I feel absolutely horrible. I mean, really...that is not what I wanted to do. But, then again, did I want to sacrifice my feelings (or lack thereof) for the rest of my life in order to make him feel better?

This feeling I have is overwhelming. I never want to hurt anyone as much as I feel I have hurt this wonderful person. I just pray that he finds that perfect person for him. Because, he deserves nothing less. I really to believe that, with time, he will come to agree with my decision. And, I hope that I affected his life in a positive way, even though he may not be able to see that right now. I know that he has affected me in a very positive way. He is an extremely caring person, and it's so good to know that there are men in this world that are capable of such care and love for another person.

And, so, that is why today, it is done...done and over. I only hope that we can really become good friends...because I hate for such a wonderful person to leave my life once and for all.

And, then there were 3

I believe I've mentioned my love for shoes...a time or two?

I had to go shopping for my brother's birthday gift. He's really been wanting some new, cool clothes, so I thought I would see what I could find. I was thinking...jeans from American Eagle and a shirt from Belk. Or somewhere. Damn Belk for having a 50% off sale. Damn them! Because...immediately after spending all of 5 minutes sorting thru racks in the men's department (and deciding on NOTHING), I found the shoe department. Ahhh...it was like the clouds opened up to reveal angels singing in the heavens!

Yes, I looked thru every box in my size, and the size above and below me...just for good measure! You never know. Sometimes Jessica fits a little tight and Steve is a big large. The first pair I cradled in my arms were a practical low-heel Steve. Closed-toe, different patterns, very fall and winter. They would be great for work, and, with the additional discount, they were a mere $27. Yep, they're keepers!

Pair #2: My new lovers! No, I don't know what in the world I will wear these with. Yes, I will find an outfit and a reason to strut in them. At least once. The rest of the time, they will just shine from within my closet! Welcome My New Lovers...

Pair #3: Exotic Lust...mmmm! They are the same style as my new lovers, but the pattern and material they are made from is just luscious. Pink capris, white pants...Watch Out! You are just about to get upgraded to Exotic status with these fine things. Just slip one foot in, and you'll be hooked too!

So, yes, I'm hooked. And, my closet is getting more colorful by the charge card!

Ahhh...The Awesomeness of Whole Foods

Ok, so one thing I did leave out of my oh-so-boring intro, aka my first post...I have a LOVE for food. When I say love, that is exactly what I mean. I am always looking for a new restaurant with a different menu. Cultural restaurants are always fun to try, too. Especially if they're authentic--then you just never know what you're in for! Anyway, to the point of the story...

Last night, I didn't get off work until damn near dark. Everyone must eat, right? Well, I'm normally the Chick-fil-A type when I'm on the go, or when I just want to go home. Last night, I was thinking gelato...from Whole Foods. Specifically, sugar cookie flavored gelato. So begins my adventure. I get to the gelato counter, only to discover they are out of sugar cookie. Instead, the nice dude lets me try various flavors, and I settle on Chocolate Brownie (it's excellent--don't take my word for it...try it for yourself!). As I'm eating my Chocolate Brownie SENSATION, I'm wandering around the cafe, from carving station to pizza to sushi bar. Wow, I need a little more substance than gelato all of a sudden. I'm so hungry, though, I have no clue what to get...decisions!

After meandering through every known food variety, I decide that I'll just take a seat at the Brasserie and order something there. I've got the time. And, I've never eaten there before. The menu looks great, but they have this funny sandwich and side on special, and ultimately, this IS an adventure! So, I order the special. I must describe this succulent dish...

The sandwich is as such: 1 piece of rye bread, toasted, topped with a small handful of greens. Atop the green, the chef places rolls of Swedish Bacon (which has a consistency and appearance of ham) wrapped around oozing Robusto cheese (better than Gouda, people!). She finishes that off with a fried egg and another piece of toasted rye bread.

The side: German Potato Salad: I can't even tell you what is in this or how it's made, but it's freakin awesome, man! Definitely had some mustard flavor in there, and I noticed tiny pieces of bacon or ham throughout. It's served warm...Ohhh...and it melts in your mouth anyway!

And, here's the best part. The couple next to me had bought a bottle of wine to drink there. They got ready to go and hadn't finished it yet. But, since you can't leave with an opened bottle, they just sacrificed it to the cafe. The lovely server asked me if I wanted a free glass of wine. It was a might tart shiraz...pretty good for a not-so-expensive choice! It was free, so that makes is freakin stellar! Thanks to you two people next to me that got in a fight and didn't finished your wine! You two people were my heroes last night!

All I have to say is this: Nah Na Na Na Boo Boo...

This was just the special for yesterday. And, although, I'm sure you want it now, they don't offer it normally, and I'm just special! :)

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams!

Living the Dream

Hello World! This is my first blog, so I thought I would do the boring thing, just to break the ice! I'm recently 25. That's a young 25, dammit! I work as a Chemist in Birmingham. I'm lovin my job these days. I'm starting back to school in 2 weeks to get my Master's in Chemistry. I can see my hair being pulled out already! My awesome-est friend, KelHen, got me started with this blogging thing. We're one in the same. She's "my brotha from anotha motha". Yep, only she's a girl! And, my mom is cooler than hers too! But, on to the important things in life. I'm single, well, kind of. I'm single meaning "not married", but I am dating someone. I think he's a pretty ok guy too, but we'll see what happens. I'm always the non-committal type. But recently, not so much. I guess I like having people around. So, other than work, upcoming school, a boyfriend, and a friend as narcissistic as me, my plate is pretty full. I'm a pretty fun person. And, funny too! Yes, I make people laugh. Usually by making fun of another person. Hey--we have to stick to what we're good at, right? I love to shop. Shoes are my weakness. They are like Lay's: You can't buy just one (pair)! I am up for anything that involves drinking the totty, watching sports, traveling, the beach, eating, and just making jokes! I have quite a few bad habits, but we won't call them downfalls! Biting my fingernails, smoking on rare occassions, pitching fits when I don't get my way, oh there are more, I'm just at a loss. Being bossy is my biggest accomplishment! I can tell anyone what to do and how to do it. Just ask! Hahaha! There will be more later. For sure!