Escapade a la Jim N Nicks

So, JC and I decided to grab a late dinner at Jim N Nicks in Southside after I had a short study session across the street at Starbucks. I had drank about 2 bottles of water in the past hour or 2, so I was at first in need of a bathroom. Right after the chick showed us to our table, I jumped up and off to the bathroom I went. I ran in the bathroom--no one was in there, thank goodness, because I could not have waited another second. Ahhhh...that relief of going to the bathroom after you've been holding it so long! Flush...open door...what's that thing? Oh--urinal. Wait--why would there be a urinal in the....OHHHH SHIT! I'm in the men's bathroom. Screw washing my hands--out, now!

Ok, so it's not like I've never been in a men's bathroom before. But, really...the times I have been in a men's bathroom are pretty much limited to times that I have been wasted at a bar or concert and refused to wait in line at the women's restroom. Anybody can agree with that fact! This caught me completely off-guard though--so I just busted out of there before running into anyone! The whole way back to the table, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably! JC enjoyed the laugh as well. You just can't keep something that funny to yourself!

We got our food. Well, our apps. I ordered some onion rings--my standard for JnN. I totally love putting their BBQ sauce on the onion rings--it's my fave! Well, I was squeezing the BBQ sauce out, and it got stopped up...with an onion. And, as I squeezed the onion was coming out, but it looked disgusting. I turned the bottle so that JC could get it out...and see what I thought was so gross. And, what do you know...that onion popped right out and a line of BBQ sauce followed it...onto JC. Ok. Thank goodness he has some decent reflexes. It got his hand (and arm) and most of the booth, but the people behind him were saved. It's a good thing too--I think that chick would have screamed like someone had thrown up on her! hahaha! This started a theme throughout our dinner of seeing how hard you could squeeze the BBQ sauce bottle and how fast that stuff would come out--very funny! Hey--it's fun acting like a 5 year old--shut up!

Ok, so gay Jay (our over-zealous server) brought us our check, we paid the bill, and out we go. As we walk out, I noticed that they had a sign on the door that read: "We're closed. See ya'll tomorrow." Does anyone else notice something wrong with this?? Maybe not, but let me enlighten you! "Ya'll" is not spelled ya'll. It is a contraction of the two words you all. Therefore it is spelled y'all. This is simple 3rd gradish grammar. Well, I pointed that out to JC, not realizing that the hostess was leaving behind us. Do you know what she had the nerve to say to me. Uh huh. She said, "That's how you spell y'all". Wrong, bitch! You better recognize. So, I got into detail. Y'all is a contraction of you all, therefore is has an apostrophe between the y and the a. "Oh, you are right." Well, I know that. I'm sorry that you just tried to prove your intelligence and failed miserably. Now, you just look like a damn fool! It's one thing to argue with a complete stranger about something you're sure of. It's just downright stupid to argue with a complete stranger when they are right and have the common sense to prove it. Oh, and don't you worry. I also threw in that I was born and raised in Alabama and I know damn well how to spell y'all.

Sleep on that!

Bitch with the Pebbles Ponytail

Of course, another aerobics class personality.

This is a new person. As in, I've never seen her in this particular class before. That's not saying that she hasn't taken this or one similar, but I haven't ever seen her in this class when I've been there. She prisses (not walks, get the terms right) into class much like someone with a Gucci bag, Manolos and D&G sunglasses would go into the spa on a random Thursday morning (morning here meaning 10ish). Ok, so she thinks she's Mrs. Thang--wtf ever! Get over yourself, but you're not bothering me--and, your nose has more of a ski slope than mine. Next time, try the plastic surgeon instead of the spa!

I go in, get my step set up, fill my water bottle up at the water fountain, and still no sign of Terri (our oh-so-fab instructor). One of the regular guys walks in and says that he couldn't get a straight answer of whether she was coming or if there was a sub for the class, but he was going to go check with someone else.

I guess Pebbles just got tired of waiting on him because she huffs a big sigh, walks past another regular in the class and says, "Did anyone even go ask if she was here?" Regular girl replies that regular boy was going to find out. Pebbles then says, "And?" Regular girl very nicely replies that he hasn't returned with the answer yet (hence the reason we are still there and there is no sub yet--duh, bitch).

Pebbles storms out to go find out for herself I guess. Regular guy comes back with the answer--No class, Terri is sick and they couldn't get a sub. As everyone is getting their equipment up and going back to the equipment room, Pebbles storms back into the room and all but runs to her equipment and into the equipment room. I know we missed class, but geez, lady--it's kind of hard for her to teach a cardio step class with bronchitis. Go run around the track and quit your bitchin!

Oh...sidenote: She became Pebbles Ponytail in my book because she has one of those cute short haircuts (much like my sister's), but (unlike my sister) she needs some help with the ponytail style. She had the top half of her hair pulled up on top of her head and that shit was sticking straight up--Just like Pebbles Flinstone. I mean, you can't pull that hairstyle off--Your Manolos have just been revoked!

Peace Out!

You think you had a bad day? HA!

So, my Thursday was the worst! Let me clarify that it was probably not the worst day of my life, but it was the worst day that I have had lately.

Now, Tuesday and Thursdays I have class from 8 to 9:15. That means that I have to leave my house by 7:15 at the latest just to get to campus, find a parking spot and get to class.

1. To start my Thursday, I was later than normal. I woke up late and didn't get out of the house until 7:20.

2. I got to the end of Parkwood Road and was the second person in line to turn left onto Hwy 150. Just then, the car in front of me decides to throw it in reverse and slam into me. Yep... Candy and I were pissed. I unbuckled my seat belt, put the car in park and was just about to get out of the car when...

3. The car drove away. When I could finally pull out onto 150, I did. I called the police and talked to the operator the entire way down 150. Finally I caught up with the car and got the tag number. Just a few moments later a couple of motorcycle cops wizzed by me and pulled the car over. This was the first chance I had to get out and look at my Candy. She was FINE! There were no scratches, dents, or even paint transfer. The policeman came over, asked me what happened, and looked at my car. He told me that there didn't appear to be any stress marks. I asked him what the deal was. He said the lady in the car that hit me was about 90 years old and didn't know that she hit me. Well, maybe not, but she doesn't need to be driving! I went on about my business and didn't file a police report, but I hope they get people like that off the road.

4. I got the class about 8:20...that's a miracle in itself. Oh, and there was a parking spot where I normally park, too--God was watching out for me. My prof counted me present even though I was late and I think they only did a little review before I got there--No new material. Whew...at least something went right.

5. Once I finally got to work, I was told that "Engineers are worth more than chemists" when asking why I was paid less than a straight-out-of-school guy with no experience. Grreat--I'm quitting. I just have to get a new job first. If anyone knows of anything, give me a shout. I'm almost open to anything that will pay me and allow me to continue with school.

6. After work, I decided that I was definitely going to the gym...this day had to at least end well! I went to Brandon's to get changed for the gym and when I was changing socks, I stepped on a freakin thumb tack. It went all the way in my foot--eww! Brandon got that out and I went on to aerobics anyway.

7. After the step aerobics part of gym class, I got up from doing weights, and got all light-headed and started with the anxiety. Ugh...once again, though, B took care of me. Gave me some good meds and let me lay down for awhile. When I finally got home and went to bed, I couldn't have been more happy that the day was OVER!

Beat that!

Roughing it at the Hilton, Chattanooga

This is somewhat of a follow-up to my last post, where I explained my far out camping experience. Well, Day 2 of that camping trip didn't exactly go as planned--it was better! After realizing Saturday morning that Noccalula Falls was nothing spectacular and Gadsden is about as much fun as a dentist visit, we decided to head an hour north to Chattanooga.

Apparently, back in the day, you could camp on Lookout Mountain. Well, that is no more. We ventured up to the top, walked through the National Park (it was a gorgeous day with a spectacular view). Then, we decided to trek a little down the mountain and see what the hype was about Rock City--pretty cool place, if you ask me! At the conclusion of all that fun, it was about 4pm. Now, let's remember that I haven't had a shower since the morning before, so we are both getting....ripe!

Brandon decides that he really wants to just go find a cool bar (or few) and hang out for awhile. It's his birthday so I go along (besides, Bama is playing GA, so I'm all for that). As we are looking for some kind of evidence of coolness, he decided that it would be cool just to find a nice area with bars, restaurants, hotels, etc and get a hotel room so we can just walk anywhere we want.

Finally, we find downtown Chattanooga, which is just about as nice a downtown area as you'll find! There was the aquarium, the Chattanooga Choo Choo, breweries, restaurants, pubs, and hotels. The cheapest hotel we could find was the Hilton Garden Inn. So, we checked into there for the grand total of $129. I took a much-needed shower that was excellent and sat down on the bed to relax and watch the Auburn game.

When we get ready, we head out to find the coolest bar on the face of the planet (I'm convinced of this). It is called "Hair of the Dog". Yes, I got a tshirt and he got a hat--we must remember this place. The beer cheese soup was out of this world! We spent a long while there--watch Alabama stomp on Georgia good! Wahoo!

Then, it was back to the hotel and to a nice slumber...until 5am. Mm Hmm...at 5am Sunday morning, we awake to an obnoxious siren/beeping noise. It is the forking fire alarm. You have to be kidding me!! Ok, so we scramble for some decent clothes (in the dark), grab my purse and his wallet and we are out the door...barefoot! As we get outside, the rest of the guests are coming as well, some carrying oh-so-tired children. I stake out my spot on the curb and lay my head on Brandon's shoulder for a minute. About 10 minutes go by before I look up and ask "Where the fuck is the firetruck?" Another 20 or so minutes go by and one pissed off guest finally calls the fire dept. They haven't had a call that the hotel fire alarm has gone off---UGH! Stupid girl at the front desk! The get there moments later and clear the building in about 10-15 minutes so we can all go back inside to sleep. At this time, though, we had been outside for a good 50 minutes, so most people are irate. We go to sleep anyway--it's going to be daylight soon and I'll be damned if they charge us for late checkout!

The next morning, Brandon opens the door to find a bill for our full amount (of course), so he decides to go talk to the people at the desk to see what exactly they are going to do to compensate us for the incovenience of curb time. The nice fellow at the customer service desk offers to knock our room charge down to $99 and give us 2 free breakfasts. Sounds reasonable to me, too! About that time, Mr. Noshirt (as we began calling him the night before), walked up to the counter, plopped his bill down and said, "So, I've already worked this out with the girl working last night, and my room is free." Sure enough, upon opening the bill, she had crossed it out and signed it to be a no charge. The nice fellow helping Brandon had no choice at this point. He asked him if he wanted a free room too...which of course he answered yes to!

So, we got a free night's stay at the Hilton and 2 free wonderful breakfasts!! We must have done something right--Karma was on our side that day!

My name is not Earl.

And, where do I brush my teeth?

Ok, so my Love (Brandon, aka B) had a birthday this past Monday. I was at a complete loss of what to get him for a great present. I knew that he is all about hiking and camping (and I'm soooo not!), so I figured it would be a great present (and a super nice gesture) to surprise him with a weekend trip camping! With a lot of help from quite a few people (big shout out to Greg), I got everything I needed, and decided that Noccolula Falls in Gadsden would be a good destination. It isn't that far away but looked cute and full of activities.

Leading up to this event, I'm all excited because I'm totally going to surprise him and he is probably going to shit his pants. Friday night, as I'm driving to his house, trunk loaded down with camping gear I know nothing about, it hit me that I'm completely clueless. Yes, I'm excited about the adventure, but I'm terrified of no bathroom, cooking my food on a fire, not sleeping in a bed, blah, blah, blah. As I'm driving, it hits me...I'm so Troop Beverly Hills in this relationship!

You have to remember that movie! Don't even lie--you loved it too. Yes, I was the one saying, "I can make crafts." Just a side note: I packed 4 pairs of shoes for 2 nights away from home, camping. I thought I did good!

So, here I am, completely prepared for something I know nothing about, and getting more scared of the reality of sleeping outside, by the minute. Mm hmm...the entire movie is running through my head. Then, I quickly shift to the movie Parent Trap. The honey attracted the big grizzly bear to tear up that tent. Oh shit! Note to self: throw honey away at gas station when stopping. Is there anything else I should know? I got a whole case of water (and a whole case of beer for sanity), a loaf of bread, poptarts, chips, peanut butter, the works!

Deep breaths! Whew...I'm going to be ok!

So, a couple of hours later, we get there, get the tent set up, air up the mattress (you didn't really think I was sleeping on the ground, did you?), and set up our chairs for a few beers. Ahhh...the sound of the outside is so great. I'm tired...let's go to bed. Umm. Scuse me...I have to pee. Ugh...that's a 2 minute walk to the other side of the park. Better not hold it too long. Beer is a bad thing because you have to pee too much!

Well, I made it through the night, slept pretty good even...the next night, we roughed it at the Hilton in Chattanooga. That's another story entirely that I will post soon enough!

I came, I conquered!

BOSU Class

No, I didn't spell that wrong. It really is BOSU. Stands for something crazy, like Both Sides Up, or something. Anyway, for those of you who are completely in dark (as I was), let me enlighten you!

The "BOSU Ball" as they call it, is not really a ball. Picture, if you will, one of those large exercise balls. Now, cut that ball in half. On one side, there is a piece of black plastic about 2 inches thick. Oh hell, google has a picture...

Ok, yeah...this is it. Do you know what people do on this

thing?? Have you ever been to a step aerobics class and used a step bench?? Well, you are supposed to use this thing for some of the same exercises. Like, I don't know...basic steps on and off of the ball. It doesn't look that hard, but take it from me...WOAH! There is a reason they say it works your core muscles and improves balance. But, let me tell you--if you don't already have some kind of good balance, you are just SOL because yo ass be on da ground!

Uh huh...should have a warning--BEWARE: FAT KIDS HIT GROUND HARD! Ha.

It was a great workout. Don't get me wrong, but it's a little difficult to balance your body and a couple of free weights on top of this thing while doing bicep curls. Oh, and let's not forget that I wore by cute bell-bottom yoga pants to this class and I kept stepping on the pants leg. Not good when you're trying to balance, folks! The worst part--I got mad cramps in the arches of my feet. OWWW! Yeah, that's NOT comfortable!

Anyway, I'll be back next week because it was fun, different, and the chick that teaches it was really nice and super helpful!

Best part: No bra girl goes to the other class on Wednesdays! BOSU!

Just Imagine...