kuh-RAY-zee

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've done some pretty crazy stuff in my life, but I've got to call this one out for shizzie!

Last Thursday, Nov. 6th, was the grand opening for Chick-fil-a in McCalla, AL. I live just a few miles from there, so I am just excited to have a Chick-fil-a nearby! Well, anytime a new Chick-fil-a opens, they offer 52 free meals (1 per week for a year) for the first 100 people in line at 6am on the morning of the opening. Since Chick-fil-a is about my fave fast food, and I live close, I decided to get up before the roosters and be out there about 4:30am. The whole way there I was thinking that whoever gets there after me would totally think I was crazy for being there so early in the morning. It only took me about 5 minutes to get there from my house, and when I pulled into the shopping center where it's located, this is what I saw:

Yep--Not kidding, people! There were about 100 tents out there--in the Chick-fil-a parking lot. I thought I was crazy for getting there at 4:30, but these people totally had me beat. I mean, I'm all for some free stuff, but it was 35 degrees that night--some things just aren't worth it! A couple of things to note:

1. One of the tents was a Dora the Explorer tent. Now, this is funny because children cannot be in the first 100 people to get the free meals. That means that some adult took their child's tent for a night out in a restaurant parking lot. Sad, but true!

2. There were a couple of cars that look as though they may have gotten there just before I did, and the tent people looked pissed about this. How dare someone get in line before them at 4:30am when they had been there all night.

3. I didn't stay--I decided that braving the tent people was not worth the $7 per week I would save...Or, I'll bring my lunch.

This comes really close to the top of my"You have to be kidding me" list. I'm just glad I had the camera to capture such kuh-RAY-zee-ness!

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What a graceful fall

My sister had to do a physical assessment on Greg for one of her classes. I had to video tape her doing a 30-minute assessment on all of his face, legs, arms, etc. We used a room at Children's South, where Sissy works, so that she would have everything she needed. There were segments to this tape. Anytime Sissy looked at me directly, I was to turn off the video camera so that she could reposition and collect her thoughts.

In order for me to get the entire view of everything she was doing, I had to stand in a far corner of the room in a chair (for a bird's eye view). After the 3rd of 4th segment, I turned the video camera off. To relax for a second in between takes, I leaned my shoulder blades back against the corner....and there went the chair...clean out from under me. I kept grabbing for the walls while holding on to that video camera for dear life. Once I got as far down as I could go, my knees collapsed and I flipped over the back of the chair and onto the hard concrete floor. I fell straight onto the right side of my back and hip. Completely couldn't breathe. Greg and Sis both ran to me. All I could do was open my mouth and signal that I couldn't get a breathe. That's an awful feeling. My nurse sister ran down the hall to get a nurse...that's just to add to the funny! All in all, I was fine. It had just knocked the breath out of me, so when a few minutes passed, I was able to breathe fine.

The worse thing about it was that after that, we had to keep turning the video camera off because one of us would crack up laughing. I only wish I would have had the video camera on so that we would have this wreck from my point of view--because I knew that their views had to be great!

I must note that they were both very worried at first, but once they knew I was fine, laughter was well-warranted! Anytime you are feeling a little down or having a bad day, please just picture a 200 pound girl flipping backwards over the back of a chair IN A HOSPITAL! I do, and it's funny as hell!

The only thing I took away from it was a sore next-morning and a nice black bruise on my backside!

Laughter is the best medicine!

Another Rockstar in my life

Yep, you heard it! I've already exclaimed my Mom's Rockstar-ness!

Well, now I'm screaming my sister's Rockstar mojo from the rooftops. That's right! I mean, I've always known that I am really blessed when it comes to my parents and siblings. My family is one of those "do-anything-for-you-no-matter-what" families.

Let me set the scene for you: Thursday night, me, Greg and Ginger went to Children's South to film Ginger's Physical Assessment for one of her nursing classes. It took a little longer than expected, but we got it finished--not without a few bloopers (see next blog for details). Once we finally got that all finished up, we all headed to Greg's now-former apartment to get the last things out of it so he could turn in his key. It was quite a few trips up and down 3 flights of stairs, but we got that all taken care of as well--both mine and sissy's car were pretty loaded. We all got home about midnight, and sis had to stay up late to get Greg's work laundry done. I'm guessing she was in bed around 2ish.

Friday morning, I got up, thought it would be a good day because I got my long lost "friend", and went to work. About 10am, I got to feeling really crappy, and the tylenol wasn't working, so I decided to run home real quick and get some good pain meds and come right back to work. Well, I was halfway home when the awful feelings started! If you are a man, you would never know these feelings, and, if you're a woman, I hope you never know them! I had pain that began in my lower abdomen, near my ovaries, and radiated all over my body. The pain was causing cold sweats all over and then the light-headedness set it. At that point, my vision started closing in and it was all I could do to stay conscious. JC called, and we talked for a minute but then I had to concentrate on trying to see. I felt nauseous, and I really wanted to get home. 2 miles later, and I had to pull over on the side of the road. I couldn't see. I was lucky enough to get a call off to Sis before the vision completely left. There I was miserable, and on the side of the road. Sis called Jon and he left work to hunt for me.

A few minutes went by and I thought I could make it home, or at least a little closer to Jon. I set out. Called sis back. Talked to her all the way home. Once I got home, I took 2 percocets and laid on the couch. I told her she could decide what to do because I didn't think I was capable of making any kind of decisions. ER it was. And, I couldn't argue--I was in a lot of pain, and the vision loss had totally spooked me! She demanded coming to get me and taking me to the ER. But, she had Kenlie, her assessment video was due and Jon was busy at work. After resting for about 30 minutes, I felt like I could at least drive myself to the ER and meet her--that was ok by her. We got there about the same time 11:30ish.

Daddy left work and came to the hospital to get K so that Sis could stay with me--she was spending the night with Mimi and Pop anyway, so it just worked out quite well for her! I think we got back to triage around 1:30 and finally got a room about 2ish. The nurses and doctors at Brookwood were AWESEOME! I had to have some test run and then they did an ultrasound. All in all, we left there about 6:30. My sister never left my side. She even shared her turkey sandwich and peanut butter crackers! What a trooper!

That's a rockstar--when it matters so much!

Escapade a la Jim N Nicks

So, JC and I decided to grab a late dinner at Jim N Nicks in Southside after I had a short study session across the street at Starbucks. I had drank about 2 bottles of water in the past hour or 2, so I was at first in need of a bathroom. Right after the chick showed us to our table, I jumped up and off to the bathroom I went. I ran in the bathroom--no one was in there, thank goodness, because I could not have waited another second. Ahhhh...that relief of going to the bathroom after you've been holding it so long! Flush...open door...what's that thing? Oh--urinal. Wait--why would there be a urinal in the....OHHHH SHIT! I'm in the men's bathroom. Screw washing my hands--out, now!

Ok, so it's not like I've never been in a men's bathroom before. But, really...the times I have been in a men's bathroom are pretty much limited to times that I have been wasted at a bar or concert and refused to wait in line at the women's restroom. Anybody can agree with that fact! This caught me completely off-guard though--so I just busted out of there before running into anyone! The whole way back to the table, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably! JC enjoyed the laugh as well. You just can't keep something that funny to yourself!

We got our food. Well, our apps. I ordered some onion rings--my standard for JnN. I totally love putting their BBQ sauce on the onion rings--it's my fave! Well, I was squeezing the BBQ sauce out, and it got stopped up...with an onion. And, as I squeezed the onion was coming out, but it looked disgusting. I turned the bottle so that JC could get it out...and see what I thought was so gross. And, what do you know...that onion popped right out and a line of BBQ sauce followed it...onto JC. Ok. Thank goodness he has some decent reflexes. It got his hand (and arm) and most of the booth, but the people behind him were saved. It's a good thing too--I think that chick would have screamed like someone had thrown up on her! hahaha! This started a theme throughout our dinner of seeing how hard you could squeeze the BBQ sauce bottle and how fast that stuff would come out--very funny! Hey--it's fun acting like a 5 year old--shut up!

Ok, so gay Jay (our over-zealous server) brought us our check, we paid the bill, and out we go. As we walk out, I noticed that they had a sign on the door that read: "We're closed. See ya'll tomorrow." Does anyone else notice something wrong with this?? Maybe not, but let me enlighten you! "Ya'll" is not spelled ya'll. It is a contraction of the two words you all. Therefore it is spelled y'all. This is simple 3rd gradish grammar. Well, I pointed that out to JC, not realizing that the hostess was leaving behind us. Do you know what she had the nerve to say to me. Uh huh. She said, "That's how you spell y'all". Wrong, bitch! You better recognize. So, I got into detail. Y'all is a contraction of you all, therefore is has an apostrophe between the y and the a. "Oh, you are right." Well, I know that. I'm sorry that you just tried to prove your intelligence and failed miserably. Now, you just look like a damn fool! It's one thing to argue with a complete stranger about something you're sure of. It's just downright stupid to argue with a complete stranger when they are right and have the common sense to prove it. Oh, and don't you worry. I also threw in that I was born and raised in Alabama and I know damn well how to spell y'all.

Sleep on that!

Bitch with the Pebbles Ponytail

Of course, another aerobics class personality.

This is a new person. As in, I've never seen her in this particular class before. That's not saying that she hasn't taken this or one similar, but I haven't ever seen her in this class when I've been there. She prisses (not walks, get the terms right) into class much like someone with a Gucci bag, Manolos and D&G sunglasses would go into the spa on a random Thursday morning (morning here meaning 10ish). Ok, so she thinks she's Mrs. Thang--wtf ever! Get over yourself, but you're not bothering me--and, your nose has more of a ski slope than mine. Next time, try the plastic surgeon instead of the spa!

I go in, get my step set up, fill my water bottle up at the water fountain, and still no sign of Terri (our oh-so-fab instructor). One of the regular guys walks in and says that he couldn't get a straight answer of whether she was coming or if there was a sub for the class, but he was going to go check with someone else.

I guess Pebbles just got tired of waiting on him because she huffs a big sigh, walks past another regular in the class and says, "Did anyone even go ask if she was here?" Regular girl replies that regular boy was going to find out. Pebbles then says, "And?" Regular girl very nicely replies that he hasn't returned with the answer yet (hence the reason we are still there and there is no sub yet--duh, bitch).

Pebbles storms out to go find out for herself I guess. Regular guy comes back with the answer--No class, Terri is sick and they couldn't get a sub. As everyone is getting their equipment up and going back to the equipment room, Pebbles storms back into the room and all but runs to her equipment and into the equipment room. I know we missed class, but geez, lady--it's kind of hard for her to teach a cardio step class with bronchitis. Go run around the track and quit your bitchin!

Oh...sidenote: She became Pebbles Ponytail in my book because she has one of those cute short haircuts (much like my sister's), but (unlike my sister) she needs some help with the ponytail style. She had the top half of her hair pulled up on top of her head and that shit was sticking straight up--Just like Pebbles Flinstone. I mean, you can't pull that hairstyle off--Your Manolos have just been revoked!

Peace Out!

You think you had a bad day? HA!

So, my Thursday was the worst! Let me clarify that it was probably not the worst day of my life, but it was the worst day that I have had lately.

Now, Tuesday and Thursdays I have class from 8 to 9:15. That means that I have to leave my house by 7:15 at the latest just to get to campus, find a parking spot and get to class.

1. To start my Thursday, I was later than normal. I woke up late and didn't get out of the house until 7:20.

2. I got to the end of Parkwood Road and was the second person in line to turn left onto Hwy 150. Just then, the car in front of me decides to throw it in reverse and slam into me. Yep... Candy and I were pissed. I unbuckled my seat belt, put the car in park and was just about to get out of the car when...

3. The car drove away. When I could finally pull out onto 150, I did. I called the police and talked to the operator the entire way down 150. Finally I caught up with the car and got the tag number. Just a few moments later a couple of motorcycle cops wizzed by me and pulled the car over. This was the first chance I had to get out and look at my Candy. She was FINE! There were no scratches, dents, or even paint transfer. The policeman came over, asked me what happened, and looked at my car. He told me that there didn't appear to be any stress marks. I asked him what the deal was. He said the lady in the car that hit me was about 90 years old and didn't know that she hit me. Well, maybe not, but she doesn't need to be driving! I went on about my business and didn't file a police report, but I hope they get people like that off the road.

4. I got the class about 8:20...that's a miracle in itself. Oh, and there was a parking spot where I normally park, too--God was watching out for me. My prof counted me present even though I was late and I think they only did a little review before I got there--No new material. Whew...at least something went right.

5. Once I finally got to work, I was told that "Engineers are worth more than chemists" when asking why I was paid less than a straight-out-of-school guy with no experience. Grreat--I'm quitting. I just have to get a new job first. If anyone knows of anything, give me a shout. I'm almost open to anything that will pay me and allow me to continue with school.

6. After work, I decided that I was definitely going to the gym...this day had to at least end well! I went to Brandon's to get changed for the gym and when I was changing socks, I stepped on a freakin thumb tack. It went all the way in my foot--eww! Brandon got that out and I went on to aerobics anyway.

7. After the step aerobics part of gym class, I got up from doing weights, and got all light-headed and started with the anxiety. Ugh...once again, though, B took care of me. Gave me some good meds and let me lay down for awhile. When I finally got home and went to bed, I couldn't have been more happy that the day was OVER!

Beat that!

Roughing it at the Hilton, Chattanooga

This is somewhat of a follow-up to my last post, where I explained my far out camping experience. Well, Day 2 of that camping trip didn't exactly go as planned--it was better! After realizing Saturday morning that Noccalula Falls was nothing spectacular and Gadsden is about as much fun as a dentist visit, we decided to head an hour north to Chattanooga.

Apparently, back in the day, you could camp on Lookout Mountain. Well, that is no more. We ventured up to the top, walked through the National Park (it was a gorgeous day with a spectacular view). Then, we decided to trek a little down the mountain and see what the hype was about Rock City--pretty cool place, if you ask me! At the conclusion of all that fun, it was about 4pm. Now, let's remember that I haven't had a shower since the morning before, so we are both getting....ripe!

Brandon decides that he really wants to just go find a cool bar (or few) and hang out for awhile. It's his birthday so I go along (besides, Bama is playing GA, so I'm all for that). As we are looking for some kind of evidence of coolness, he decided that it would be cool just to find a nice area with bars, restaurants, hotels, etc and get a hotel room so we can just walk anywhere we want.

Finally, we find downtown Chattanooga, which is just about as nice a downtown area as you'll find! There was the aquarium, the Chattanooga Choo Choo, breweries, restaurants, pubs, and hotels. The cheapest hotel we could find was the Hilton Garden Inn. So, we checked into there for the grand total of $129. I took a much-needed shower that was excellent and sat down on the bed to relax and watch the Auburn game.

When we get ready, we head out to find the coolest bar on the face of the planet (I'm convinced of this). It is called "Hair of the Dog". Yes, I got a tshirt and he got a hat--we must remember this place. The beer cheese soup was out of this world! We spent a long while there--watch Alabama stomp on Georgia good! Wahoo!

Then, it was back to the hotel and to a nice slumber...until 5am. Mm Hmm...at 5am Sunday morning, we awake to an obnoxious siren/beeping noise. It is the forking fire alarm. You have to be kidding me!! Ok, so we scramble for some decent clothes (in the dark), grab my purse and his wallet and we are out the door...barefoot! As we get outside, the rest of the guests are coming as well, some carrying oh-so-tired children. I stake out my spot on the curb and lay my head on Brandon's shoulder for a minute. About 10 minutes go by before I look up and ask "Where the fuck is the firetruck?" Another 20 or so minutes go by and one pissed off guest finally calls the fire dept. They haven't had a call that the hotel fire alarm has gone off---UGH! Stupid girl at the front desk! The get there moments later and clear the building in about 10-15 minutes so we can all go back inside to sleep. At this time, though, we had been outside for a good 50 minutes, so most people are irate. We go to sleep anyway--it's going to be daylight soon and I'll be damned if they charge us for late checkout!

The next morning, Brandon opens the door to find a bill for our full amount (of course), so he decides to go talk to the people at the desk to see what exactly they are going to do to compensate us for the incovenience of curb time. The nice fellow at the customer service desk offers to knock our room charge down to $99 and give us 2 free breakfasts. Sounds reasonable to me, too! About that time, Mr. Noshirt (as we began calling him the night before), walked up to the counter, plopped his bill down and said, "So, I've already worked this out with the girl working last night, and my room is free." Sure enough, upon opening the bill, she had crossed it out and signed it to be a no charge. The nice fellow helping Brandon had no choice at this point. He asked him if he wanted a free room too...which of course he answered yes to!

So, we got a free night's stay at the Hilton and 2 free wonderful breakfasts!! We must have done something right--Karma was on our side that day!

My name is not Earl.